feeling ill now

i feel so ill now.why?perhaps tired?stress?no doubt.i cant recognize myself clearly anymore.everything seems to be so blur.everything around me include you thou you're not around.i wonder when will you see this??hmmm..

i've grown weaker day by day.weak in the mentality perhaps physically too.no matter how ill i am,i will still stand and walk.my aim is vanishing.is there someone or something to let me held on and tell me which way should i stick on till the end???

anyways,hope that i will succeed in finding my own path without any doubt..where's that confidence of mine had gone to?where did my arrogant gone to??i've lost my pride and my faith.i doubt myself.

责任感？？！！

什么是责任感？？你有吗？？做事半途而废，应为某种因素而想不开，闹情绪不顾其他人的看法和心情，决定退出一切有关事务。一起当伙伴如此的久，再夺南奥野熬过了，就连这最后一次局在一起搞活动就决定放弃一切，离开队友吗？几岁了，还发什么小孩子脾气？对你们彻底失望。。。什么是团结？什么是纪律？冲你们身上，我一点也察觉不到。我承认，我也没有这些条件，但至少，我会随机应变，最后也把事情成功完成。这也只是侥幸而已。。

别把一切都怪罪于他人身上，是否想过，在你怪人的时候，他也会在那儿同样的怪你。。只有重复反省，想象自己的错误在哪里，才会有所进步。以理由来逃避一切问题非君子所为。莫非你非君子？这就得怪自己对你的期望太高了。把你想得太完美，使我的疏忽。没仔细观察而下了某种定论，只可说，我也不怎么好到哪里。haih..你们在我心里的影响，已经归零。。我不会在怪你们，毕竟因为我的疏忽和大意，才会导致如今的你。对这件事，我对你说声对不起。我不求你的原谅，因为你没资格。

做是有始有终是我们一贯的作风，没想到，落到你手中，如此优良的传统，却被拟一一毁掉。。建立形象？谈何容易？你说就可做？我呸！以你的态度，难成大事，舍己为人这个礼让精神，在你们身上，不可能被发觉或被发现，因为你们没有！！一心一意？？有吗？不见得。我在质疑，是否我没进好自己的本分？应该就只有这个理由而已。一切就顺其自然吧，他日如何被外人看待，我已无法在维护和保护。祝你们好运吧！！一切都以太迟了，不必对自己的错误负起任何责任，因为你们根本没有这门学问。

过度关心=鸡婆？？？

在生活里，是否有朋友真的付出真心去关心某些人，或许问候，安慰，慰问一些面对困难的朋友呢？身为人的我们，有着非一般的头脑，比一般生物高出X倍的智慧，也无形间使我们变得十分复杂。也许在着社会里，我们所能给的关心就只有一般普通的关心而已吧！急于过渡的关心，就会令人觉得很厌恶，也被大家名为鸡婆。。哈哈。。说得没错吧？？

也许这种现象大多只发生在男女关系身上吧，如果女生太铭感，就会多情的一位那男的想要追他或之类的。。这是普通会发生的某种状况，一些更可怕的，就如，臭骂那男的一吨，并说他是鸡婆。。和他断绝关系，也不和他来往，省直绝交。。何必呢？？这只是一些例子而已啦。真实度未经扩本人亲身研究。。哈哈。。假如真的研究也未免太无聊了吧？？倒不如花些时间去写多几篇打发时间算了。哈哈

没关系，假如你被视为鸡婆的那一群，原因就只是过渡关心，我了解你的心情，因为，我也是一个。。哈哈。。没办法，谁叫我就是如此自讨苦吃？？爱管闲事，爱过渡关心朋友呢？？哈哈 有时候甚至还会因朋友有烦恼无法解决而为他一起down呢。我的境况可能没有如此严重吧？？真不了解自己为何就是那么的爱知道朋友的事，八卦？呵呵 可能吧。吃饱没事做？也许吧。

也许事实上，表面上看起来没什么。但人的内心始终都会自然而然的掩护自己，不愿与外界有所接触。一个人承受一切，一个人扛着一切，一个人担着一切，这些我都尝试过，也许辛苦，但值得！！这是让你成长最快的道路，千万别放弃它，他将会是你以后的财产。但成功走过这段路的人又有几个呢？我并不是其中一个，将来还有许多类似的路要走。。希望倒是放弃的不会是我。。

如果，你需要人解闷活和你聊天，甚至于你分享心事，你可以找我，如果我能做到的，我会尽量帮你。哈哈。。但我不会说话，只会气你，所以，如果你能顶得住旧放马过来咯。。我可以当你得听者。。帮朋友这样的忙，我向大家都可以做得到吧。。朋友就是在最需要你的时候扶你一把，站在你这里为你着想啊！！不然做朋友就没了他原有的意义和用以了。哈哈。

holidays yay??

holiday is here and should i be happy about it?lol.those who just finish having exams sure do.but for me,haha.have to study and finish those homeworks.lmao.first 3 weeks in lower 6.started to feel stress and pressure already,worry of not catching up in class.damn.its really tough.oh my.

maths,chemistry,physics,PA and MUET.seriously its tough.yet i'm not having any tuition except chem and muet.ho sei.i'm so yao yeng.most of my friends are having tuition for every subject i think.so,those who are not doing stpm.dont say you are having serious problem in studies.lol.yours aint the hardest so is mine.hope i can cope well and do well.gotta revise everything taught by teachers and finish up those homeworks.lmao.tonnes of homeworks waiting me,especially maths and chem(tuition homework delayed since the first time of tuition.LOL)

happy holidays to those who are having holidays.aha.good luck in those who are still sitting for exams especially in college ones.hope those went for jpa,matrics and other better offer will strike with colorful results.all of us work hard!!go for what we want.yeah,thats it.

appealing for jpa?

http://www.mca.org.my/cn/files/2010/10/2011%E5%B9%B4JPA%E6%B5%B7%E5%A4%96%E5%A5%96%E5%AD%A6%E9%87%91%E4%B8%8A%E8%AF%89%E8%A1%A8%E6%A0%BC.pdf
those who wanted to appeal for jpa just go here :) do it ASAP.

cheers.

congrats

after all those weeks,after losing so much sweat.doing sunbath with clothes on.BBQ all of your skin.turning from fair white to charcoal black.do you think its worth to get 5 champions for all these hard work?CONGRATS to clhs cadet police for gaining the champion in the state competition today.you all did a nice job!!all of your hard work paid off.thats the reward for all of your hardwork.be proud of it!!

to those who fell sick.recover soon.its time to switch course.focus on your studies now.work hard and strike good results to be perfect but not neglecting them o.0
to one of my f2 junior who admitted hospital due to denggi,get well soon.dont worry.we managed to work it out with joshua(our super sub which learn everything and trained under half an hour).thou there are still some mistakes.but its better on field.well done!!

i seriously admire jit sin's cadets for their discipline.they are so well disciplined.self punished for doing wrong.nice.thats what a cadet should be.i'm a little bit disappointed with their performance??(am i nuts?felt disappointed to rival's performance.lol.)i wanted to see their slow marching so badly.its so good.strongest i shall say.better than us alot.still today was a let down.thought i could have a good view and watch it again.but no.sigh.

to my cadets,you all won not because of you all have the skill.but because of other's imperfection.dont be too proud of yourselves.you are still not good enough to claim the best of the best.improvements must be made.that will have to wait till after exams that is.meanwhile,good luck to all of you in your exams.BEST OF LUCK!!once again,CONGRATS!!

first week in school

after few months of work and slacking,i am back to school now.after not getting any offers and shortlisted in many things that i applied.i'm gonna go for the toughest road which is STPM.rumors says its tough and fearful?i have no choice but to risk everything then.motivate myself to work hard then.there aint any option as i can see.dang.

well,lets fight for it then.hope everything goes well and ends well.back to topic.first day to school.i'm late.lmao.i did not go back to see the notice where it actually stated school starts at 8.i went around 830.lol.after the first day,here comes 2nd day.all boring as usual.introduction to school.to chung ling old boys.its boring but abit useful thou.

2nd day in school which is today.lol.done nothing.was excited of going msspp again on this thurs.but there's bad news when i got home.the teacher advisor informed us that we cant go to msspp because it stated that there is only 2 form 6 are allowed to play in a team.lmao.lower 6 are still form 6 in some sense.so,thats it.no more ponteng on thurs.emo die!!well,at least i still got to ponteng tomorrow.haha its cadet's big day.nice man.hopefully all went well and they overcome every team and be the defending champion and defend the title.GOOD LUCK.

will know my class tomorrow.good to know then.at least i got a place to study.hope i wont slack.still waiting for jpa.fingers crossed.hope i get it.